Backward and in Heels

This past year taking care of my Grandson has been wonderful and reminding and enlightening. All of the joy and wonder that is a small and happy soul is so wonderful. Remembering all the cute and incredible moments from my own children’s babyhood has been so enriching. Recognizing this time, that I get to choose the role that I will wear as Grandma has been such a thought-provoking process.

Mothers are survivors and thrivers. It is an overwhelming tax on every system of our beings, to bring a human being into this world. Then, with all of those stressors, add sleep deprivation and an entirely new world outlook and a new and overwhelming priority.

What we expect of mothers is outrageous. And succeeding at it is the most amazing feeling, just delayed by say eighteen years or so.

So, what has any of this to do with a small red poppy?

Backward and in Heels

This little wonder is from very late last summer. Everything else was drying up. Everything was starting to fall. My coCaptain and I were on our daily walk. In fact, we were on our way home. This is important only because in his role as coCameraman, he was getting a little tired of it all.

I saw this little wonder beside the curb, in the wild grass of a vacant lot. I went into total focus mode and starting shooting. I was in the zone.

There was a scientific study recently, on an important topic: how the brain reacts to sound. They had two categories of sounds: pleasing and irritating. One of the most pleasing sounds — a baby’s laugh. I truly think the laughs have helped our household ride the lockdown of 2020 -2021. The most irritating sound — a toddler whining. It is published. It is real. And I got a sheer blast of it.

So, I am communing with the miniature beauty before me, asking what it had to say: Turn Around. “Huh?” Turn Around, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Then there is a piercing announcement (in toddler): Enough Already. The Zone is gone, but the resilience of the flower stayed with me. Such beauty in such barren times.

This Grandma took the lesson, that surviving is barely enough. Thankfully, we have learned through the beauty around us. We can survive or we can thrive in regal beauty.

I will always choose the latter.

I just had to share.

 — Cynthia


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